The Power of Friendliness

A flower can bloom alone, but a bunch is so much better.

A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world.Leo Buscaglia 

The quote by Leo Buscaglia is amazing... but that is not how the human psyche was programmed. It was programmed to connect, to stay connected... and to thrive from the connections. 

Man... by nature, is a social animal. He survives and thrives better when grouped with others.  

Unfortunately, with a world that is racing to achieve success, it is breaking the speed limits and it is forgetting the purpose of the journey. Man, is slowly forgetting that it is in his DNA to be connected to each other. 

Can we do something to get back to our inherent nature? 

Can we learn to be friendly? 

While waiting at a rather small and insignificant airport, which did not even have a snack counter, let alone a book store, I made up my mind to study how people - who did not know each other - communicated. 

I was pleasantly surprised to see one gentleman who was in his early forties, who began his first conversation with another gentleman who was about the same age. This happened while they were waiting at the check in counter. The conversation started with a simple comment about how small the airport was, and how it was different from the other airports across India. It was apparent from the conversation that both of them were salesmen. They spoke louder than normal, and did not worry too much about whether others could hear them. When a couple of foreign tourists joined the line, they struck up a conversation with the lady - who seemed to be looking for some information. Pretty interesting! In less than two minutes, 4 people who were strangers were able to chat up as though they knew each other from some earlier meeting. 

As they checked in and waited to board the flight, other people also gravitated towards the 'friendly' people and soon there were at least another 4 additional people who intermittently joined into the conversation. Strangers had apparently shrugged off their Indian aloofness and had seemingly decided to explore casual, animated conversations. 

What makes people talk to strangers? 

My first submission is that a person needs a reasonably strong belief in SELF. People with a good level of Self Esteem are confident and can hold their own in most situations. These people are quick to make friends and do not hesitate to do so. 

Is it easy to make friends? 

Yes! it is really very easy. The trick is to start with 'small talk'. 

Do not speak about things that could be controversial or issues that could lead to a sticky situation. Speaking about the venue, the event, the surroundings, the weather... or ask for help or directions. These are great ways to open a conversation with someone. Of course it helps to have a pleasant smile... and a voice that sounds friendly. Maintaining eye contact - that is open and non-threatening - is ideal. 

Making friends is easy.. when you have the ability to break ice, and it gets easier with practice. Make up your mind to speak to two strangers every day, and soon you will be a pro at making friends. 

Here are some views that you can mull over: 

If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair.

Samuel Johnson 

Trouble is a sieve through which we sift our acquaintances. Those too big to pass through are our friends.
Arlene Francis 

Acquaintances become friends, and friends should last for a lifetime. 

I wish each of you a few thousand acquaintances and a few hundred friends. 

Ian Faria.