The biggest challenge to any relationship is a statement, that sounds like a judgment. It is also important to note that it is more important to listen than to speak. Here are some points to ponder... and to come to terms with:
The source of most confrontations, and broken relationships ... is MISUNDERSTANDING.
What can we do to have more UNDERSTANDING?
Simple...
Stop making statements.
Statements only show what you 'know'.
Start asking Better Questions.
Questions are the key to KNOW MORE!
Consider the following options, and check which is a better - Making statements, or Asking Questions. Do also check how the meaning of the communication changes when we stress on the words in CAPS.
You are ALWAYS LATE for meetings!
You NEVER listen!
How could we ensure that we LISTEN to each other?
You ALWAYS think YOU are right!
Do you believe you are right EVERY time?
You oppose EVERY thing I say!
Could you try to agree with me SOMETIMES?
This relationship is a WASTE of time.
How can we work towards a BETTER relationship?
Is there something we can do to IMPROVE our relationship?
You NEVER appreciate me.
Do you think you could appreciate me ONCE in a WHILE?
Just being aware that our statements could appear to be judgments could help us to use the more powerful alternative of asking questions. Also, when we pause and listen carefully to what the other person is REALLY saying... rather than trying to figure out how we could justify what we know... then, we should improve not only our ability to understand the other person better... but hopefully... we will also enhance the quality of our relationships. The trick here is to ask our inner voice to shut up... and to listen intently.
Don't you think we all deserve better? Don't you think we could all be happier?
Ian Faria.
 |
| Understanding improves relationships |
- How often have our conversations run into a roadblock, and then drifted into nothingness.... ?
- Have you experienced a period of uneasy silence when someone said something that sounded like they had labelled you?
- Isn't it true that each person has a viewpoint? Isn't it also true that many of those viewpoints do not agree with ours? How then do we figure out who is right... or do each of us just believe that we represent the truth, and that the other is not as smart as we are?
- How often have we tried to understand, before trying to be understood?
- Isn't it a fact, that we think we know exactly what is right... and more tragically... have we not realized that we are sometimes wrong?
The source of most confrontations, and broken relationships ... is MISUNDERSTANDING.
What can we do to have more UNDERSTANDING?
Simple...
Stop making statements.
Statements only show what you 'know'.
Start asking Better Questions.
Questions are the key to KNOW MORE!
Consider the following options, and check which is a better - Making statements, or Asking Questions. Do also check how the meaning of the communication changes when we stress on the words in CAPS.
You are ALWAYS LATE for meetings!
Could we please arrive ON TIME for the meetings?
You NEVER listen!
How could we ensure that we LISTEN to each other?
You ALWAYS think YOU are right!
Do you believe you are right EVERY time?
You oppose EVERY thing I say!
Could you try to agree with me SOMETIMES?
This relationship is a WASTE of time.
How can we work towards a BETTER relationship?
Is there something we can do to IMPROVE our relationship?
You NEVER appreciate me.
Do you think you could appreciate me ONCE in a WHILE?
Just being aware that our statements could appear to be judgments could help us to use the more powerful alternative of asking questions. Also, when we pause and listen carefully to what the other person is REALLY saying... rather than trying to figure out how we could justify what we know... then, we should improve not only our ability to understand the other person better... but hopefully... we will also enhance the quality of our relationships. The trick here is to ask our inner voice to shut up... and to listen intently.
Don't you think we all deserve better? Don't you think we could all be happier?
Ian Faria.
